6 Signs You’re Ready to Let Go of Your Past Trauma
Remember that healing is not linear
I woke up this morning and recognised a very strange feeling of peace and calm, almost like it was unreal. For as long as I can remember, I have always started my day on autopilot and navigated through it by pushing myself to do the smallest little tasks of the day. I have had to constantly push myself to do trivial tasks like brushing, taking showers, eating on time etc.
There was always this feeling of having a dark cloud over my head and some days felt better than the others but I would quickly resume my autopilot mode where I would question every positive feeling that touched my soul.
But something changed. I don’t know when exactly this happened. Today, I recognised that I wasn’t on autopilot for at least a month and that I was not just surviving but actually LIVING MY LIFE!
What is Trauma?
National Library of Medicine says that trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being.
As human beings, we go through many difficult situations in life without understanding the lasting impact some experiences can have on us. Trauma can be so subtle that we sometimes learn to live with it and forget it exists. Because hey, life needs to go on, right? We find our new normal in co-existing with trauma. I did the same for as long as I can remember. But like I said, maybe I am ready to let go of it and heal.
I am not an expert, but from my experiences and from what my therapist told me, here are a few signs that you might be ready to let go of your past trauma too:
1. Reduced Avoidance
When dealing with trauma, we sometimes tend to lock away our emotions until we are ready to face them again. This is because owning them might mean that we’d re-live the whole experience.
When you are ready to let go of the trauma, you will be able to reduce the avoidance and own your emotions. It will be like you almost gave yourself permission to move on. This doesn’t mean a complete absence of avoidance to feelings, but rather a decrease in its frequency and intensity, allowing you to engage more fully in your life.
2. Feeling Safe
This is the first thing I recognised. Many people experience physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or sleep disturbances due to trauma. You start feeling like your own body is betraying you.
But when you’re healing and ready to let go, the intensity of these symptoms reduces and you start feeling like yourself again. You start feeling safe in your own body and start sensing a calmness within yourself.
3. Memories Coming Back
Psychcentral says that a significantly shocking experience can overwhelm your innate coping mechanisms so much that your brain pauses these extremely painful memories trying to protect itself.
Some experiences can be extremely disturbing and painful for us as human beings to process. Like, the loss of a loved one, long-term abuse, neglect or violence etc. During these times, the body starts looking for ways to process the experience and sometimes you lose portions of memories that are distressing or upsetting.
But when you’re ready to heal, you start remembering these memories and the details associated with them. The resurfacing of these memories and emotions associated with them doesn’t mean that you’re moving backward in your healing. It’s actually the opposite.
4. Unexplained Crying
When your body has stored the trauma, hurt and pain for so long, healing and letting go means that there will be a lot of tears for no obvious reason. You allow yourself to finally cry, and let go of the trauma.
For example, one of my friends stepped onto the stage to deliver a toast at her best friend’s wedding and what started as a fun banter, was soon washed over by a wave of unexpected emotions. For the next hour, she stood there, tears streaming down her face, unable to speak or articulate the jumble of emotions coursing through her.
After talking to her therapist, she realized that her unexpected tearful breakdown at the wedding could have been a sign of trauma releasing. The public setting, the theme of love and commitment, or even the heightened emotions of the day might have triggered deeper feelings related to past experiences that she might be ready to face.
Sometimes, “Out of character” emotional responses can also be signs of trauma release. It’s crucial to remember that healing is not linear and unexpected emotional outbursts can be part of the process.
5. Reconnecting With Your Passions
One of the negative impacts of trauma is that you lose interest in things you were once passionate about and everything seems pointless. When you’re ready to let go, you experience a renewed sense of purpose and motivation.
Activities that were once sources of joy or fulfilment during happier times may regain their appeal. This can be a sign of reclaiming your sense of self and rediscovering your passions after having put them on hold due to the trauma.
6. Living Mindfully
Trauma makes you do a lot of things on autopilot without you having to actually focus on it. You do things to keep yourself busy or to distract and numb yourself from your emotions.
But when you start healing, you start to distinguish between numbing and true fulfilment. You become more aware of the activities that genuinely bring you joy and energize you, as opposed to those solely used for avoidance. This could involve reconnecting with old hobbies, exploring new interests, or simply spending time in nature.
For example, instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media to avoid difficult thoughts, you might engage in mindful meditation or journaling to process your emotions healthily.
Or, rather than forcing yourself to attend crowded events because you fear solitude, you choose to spend quality time with a close friend or engage in a solo activity you truly enjoy, like reading or painting.
The journey of healing from past trauma is a deeply personal one. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Embrace the support of loved ones, professional guidance, and most importantly, your own unwavering strength. As you continue to battle your demons and heal on the side, I hope this piece helps you find hope in your times of darkness.
While the path may not be straightforward I hope you’re guided towards a future where you discover the strength to truly LIVE, not just survive!
© Shaik Rohia Munavar
